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  1. #1

    Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    In early February 2020, Flacco won his 3rd Lombardi trophy and 3rd Superbowl MVP. He will throw 8 touchdown passes in the super bowl, breaking the prior record of 7 which he set in 2018.

    In 2019 Lamar Jackson had 1,500 receiving yards and 24 touchdown catches. He had 1,819 rushing yards and 31 touchdown runs. He had 6 touchdown passes and also 3 pick sixes, but one of his interceptions came off the deflection. Then soon after the Super Bowl, in March, Lamar gave birth to a set of beautiful twins. His twins were born with lots of fat and boasted a full head of hair upon birth, indicating high intelligence.

    To much of the amusement of the more seasoned Ravens fan, Flacco resurrected the fu manchu in the 2018 postseason and never shaved again (during the post-season) for the rest of his glorious career.

    The Ravens traded their entire drafts of 2037 and 2038 and 2039 in order to obtain the precious 1st round pick to secure Francis Flacco, who was the first of Flacco's sons to play the position of quarterback. He then sat behind Joe Flacco for 3 years, and then Flacco retired. Though Francis did not start well, the Ravens started 1-6 his first season. Joe Flacco came out of retirement and finished out the season 9 straight wins and then added 4 more playoff wins and another Lombardi and MVP. Though Flacco believed in his son and for 5 straight seasons the same routine developed: Francis flobs, Father Flacco goes undefeated for the umpteenth time. Eventually Francis changed to the free safety position, where he notched an even 50 interceptions in his career, while Flacco went back to starting each season week 1.

    In case any of you Thomas's don't believe me, I brought proof:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b3cs_vJd9A

    Have a good day everyone! Rejoice Ravens land, for the upcoming emergence of the quintessentially promised reality and the grand resurrection of the 11-0.
    Last edited by Nonsensical Realism; 11-10-2018 at 10:05 PM.





  2. #2

    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Damn they're growing some crazy potent weed in the future.





  3. #3

    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Quote Originally Posted by Culex View Post
    Damn they're growing some crazy potent weed in the future.
    Alas it is true that Spritzula Alexandria does import some signature strands of weed from the ancient past, from the epoch before the tower of Babel.

    We also have golden kefir. This was the original kefir, when they first emerged in the ancestor of the Caucasus mountains, at this time they were what could best be described, given the grave dialect difference between us, as proto-Indonesia. This wonderful treat makes the production of serotonin so abundant and strident with golden balance that afterwards when you sweat you sweat perfect salt that is pure serotonin. I teach a course on how to make this kefir. For free. This is one of many gifts that Spritzula Alexandria has to offer you homo sapiens. We have been watching from afar. Lovingly but you also cause us so much grief. Thankfully in Spritzula Alexandria grief tastes like gravy... and when we get rid of gravy, it tastes like mashed potatoes. In Spritzula Alexandria we celebrate Thanksgiving with a big dish of mashed potatoes and gravy, with lamb feet and we infuse golden kefir into the bone marrow. mmmmmm mmmm so damn good. I hope you enjoy the upcoming seasons! ;)





  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
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    where my head touches the pillow
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    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Quote Originally Posted by Culex View Post
    Damn they're growing some crazy potent weed in the future.
    That ain’t weed bruv





  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    I almost feel this is the swords alt account.





  6. #6

    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Quote Originally Posted by JonAB View Post
    I almost feel this is the swords alt account.
    no this is not the sword's alt account. I live in Glasgow UK. https://babylonianjazz.com/ My one-man band Babylonian Jazz hosts, performs, and livestreams music, comedy, and ancient mathematics concerts. Though starting in January my girlfriend will be joining me on stage as my trusted alto.

    Tickets for the online broadcast of the 3 hour concerts are available on the website. All of the money spent on the online broadcast concerts (as well as extra donations) go to the Transparent Vault of Spritzula Alexandria, where the money facilitates medical access, education, and economic opportunities across Asia and Africa and also everywhere else. My father has been a Cardiologist for 35 years, recently was inducted to the American Heart Association's hall of fame. And he is the medical chairman and designs the medical facilities and oversees the medical assistance. We are also starting Cardiology academies in these areas.

    There is much more that Spritzula Alexandria offers, check out the site. I'm not the sword, though I do love that guy.
    Last edited by Nonsensical Realism; 11-11-2018 at 12:53 AM.





  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    The Land of Verdite
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    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    I'm not that fucking crazy, you need to give me more credit than that.





  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Quote Originally Posted by The Excellector View Post
    I'm not that fucking crazy, you need to give me more credit than that.
    Haha Well ya of course not, just thought maybe it was some kinda bit. I dunno, I can’t figure out if this guy is doing a very elaborate bit or if he’s just truly this off the wall. I enjoy it either way.





  9. #9

    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Quote Originally Posted by JonAB View Post
    Haha Well ya of course not, just thought maybe it was some kinda bit. I dunno, I can’t figure out if this guy is doing a very elaborate bit or if he’s just truly this off the wall. I enjoy it either way.
    babylonianjazz.com if you'd like to figure me out. It is all there in the print, clear as crystal. I'm as naked as a dead angel and as open as an infinite book that has been closed for eternity. Spritzula Alexandria is here to help homo sapiens be well-fed and happy and free from post world war I and world war II trauma. I'm not here to be an enigma, I'm here, there, and everywhere to recruit a platoon of kind strangers who don't want the world to be so sad and want to do something about it.
    Last edited by Nonsensical Realism; 11-11-2018 at 12:49 AM.





  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
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    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Quote Originally Posted by Nonsensical Realism View Post
    Babylonianjazz.com if you'd like to figure me out. It is all there in the print, clear as crystal. Spritzula Alexandria is here to help homo sapiens be well-fed and happy and free from post world war I and world war II trauma.
    I think I got it figured. Quite the website. Good luck with your goals, pal.





  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Pasadena, MD
    Posts
    12,183

    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Quote Originally Posted by The Excellector View Post
    I'm not that fucking crazy, you need to give me more credit than that.
    Fair point

    Sent from my Moto Z (2) using Tapatalk





  12. #12

    Re: Greetings from Spritzula Alexandria, I brought news from the future that shall bring you satisfaction

    Shawn Blazington from YouTube is now on RSR


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk





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