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  1. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    San Dimas, CA
    Posts
    17,252

    Re: Why your team sucks - Ravens

    Quote Originally Posted by Desert Raven View Post
    Nice a couple of you at least saw the humor.
    The humor was sparse. I've read these things for years and I could have guessed the formula before I read it:

    Ray Lewis murder comments - check
    John Harbaugh whiner - check
    Joe Flacco not elite - check
    Baltimore is a bad city - check
    obligatory reference to The Wire - check

    It's like a joke that was funny the first time you heard it but after hearing it for the tenth time it's just not funny anymore - it's just recycled.





  2. #14

    Re: Why your team sucks - Ravens

    Quote Originally Posted by Ravenswintitle View Post
    I thought the Ray thing kind of ruined it but eh, whatever. Some of it was funny, but it was a little lazy
    not nearly as good as previous years.





  3. #15

    Re: Why your team sucks - Ravens

    It needs to be more original and there is plenty to point to that COULD be funny and a little deeper:

    1. OBJ terrible combine results evoke memories of Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man
    2. Hayden Hurst already has an application in to Blakehurst (that's a retirement community)
    3. Didn't draft BPA at 16 because they were going to draft offense, dammit.
    4. Hired a DC with a single terrible year of NFL experience when they could have had almost anyone
    5. Ray Lewis--go with the bad speech and how uncomfortable it made his own kids.
    6. Reduced concession prices are supposed to be a substitute for getting the shaftastic 1st and 4th PS games at home.
    7. Retirement of Ozzie--really? From his drafts it looks like he retired 10 years ago.
    8. Baltimore fans hoping they can they can squeak into the playoffs so they can dress up warmly for a game in another city which they'll win for no good reason, but inevitably lose in the divisional round.
    9. Addition of 2 TEs and Crabtree is 60% of the way to goal of having all eligible receivers run 5-yard routes
    10. Annual overreaction to preseason performance reaches new highs with 10th straight PS win.

    That's literally all you have to do for one of these formulaic hack pieces and it took about 7 minutes. Now get a snarky wannabe sportswriter to flesh it out and you have it.





  4. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Franklin County, PA
    Posts
    3,334

    Re: Why your team sucks - Ravens

    Quote Originally Posted by Bhcforlife View Post
    I read this earlier and laughed my ass off. The line about them starting a piece of dried out melba toast under center got me good.
    Yeah, I laughed out loud at that one myself. Over all, the piece was kind of "meh" with a lot of re-hashed unoriginal themes. But I still got a few laughs out of it, as well as from the fan comments at the end.





  5. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Franklin County, PA
    Posts
    3,334

    Re: Why your team sucks - Ravens

    Quote Originally Posted by Filmstudy View Post
    It needs to be more original and there is plenty to point to that COULD be funny and a little deeper:

    7. Retirement of Ozzie--really? From his drafts it looks like he retired 10 years ago.
    Buh-dum, tsss....





  6. #18

    Re: Why your team sucks - Ravens

    "This team was designed to please suburban racist dads in bad golf shirts, and they’ve got their methods down to a science. These fans booed a prayer. Fuck them with a whole steamed crab."

    I lol'd





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