Why your team sucks - Ravens

**WrongBaldy** · 08-16-2018, 03:41 PM

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%...m-Jdy3FJcfuegw

**Shrubbs** · 08-16-2018, 03:46 PM

I just got done reading the why your team sucks article, and to me it was so lazy he's so clearly grasping at straws. The Ray Lewis is a murder thing is so overdone at this point, like you really couldn't think of anything better at all? And saying Ravens fans are racist because several fans got upset about the anthem? Try every single fanbase. Pockets of every fanbase in the NFL are all up in arms about this... I don't know why the Ravens are special. Sure, we didn't sign Kaepernick, but neither did 31 other teams? The comments about Harbaugh made no sense to me, he wasn't trying to blame the players, he was saying it's hard for players to unlearn things that they've been taught since they started playing the game. I just found the comments so lazy and overdone. I don't know... And I feel like it's not just because it's the Ravens. If they had come out and said "oh Big Ben's a rapist lol" I would think that was just as lazy.

**Bhcforlife** · 08-16-2018, 03:52 PM

I read this earlier and laughed my ass off. The line about them starting a piece of dried out melba toast under center got me good. As did the line about the team being for racist suburban dads.

Oh and the fan quotes are amazing. The one that's like, "the browns have been shitty for a while but they've never been our kicker is our top selling jersey shitty" is incredible. Dying.

And this one:

Because I sent this last year:

“ Because we’re going to be 8-6, with 2 games to play, “controlling our own destiny,” and somehow find a way to blow it. “

...and not only was it true, but they blew it by giving up a 49-yard TD, on 4th and 12, with 53 seconds left in the 4th quarter, on New Years Eve.

**moose10101** · 08-16-2018, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by Shrubbs

lazy and overdone.

Exactly. They mailed it in.

**Bhcforlife** · 08-16-2018, 04:02 PM

Yeah it's not just the Ravens and as I expected, people, as they do every year, will take it seriously when it's meant to be a joke.

From the Cardinals one:

By the way, it will take roughly five weeks for every white person in that state to demand Wilks be fired for being too impassive. “Look at that black coach just standing there. THE BUM.”

The fans here are all sunburnt reactionary gun nuts who would sooner hunt Colin Kaepernick for sport than see their team win a championship.

**moose10101** · 08-16-2018, 04:28 PM

Originally Posted by Bhcforlife

Yeah it's not just the Ravens and as I expected, people, as they do every year, will take it seriously when it's meant to be a joke.:

I don't see anyone here taking it seriously. We know it's a joke; it's just not funny.

**Purplenemesis** · 08-16-2018, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by Bhcforlife

I read this earlier and laughed my ass off. The line about them starting a piece of dried out melba toast under center got me good. As did the line about the team being for racist suburban dads.

Oh and the fan quotes are amazing. The one that's like, "the browns have been shitty for a while but they've never been our kicker is our top selling jersey shitty" is incredible. Dying.

And this one:

Yeah, I thought the fan quotes were funnier than the article. I probably shouldn't have laughed so hard at this "Gave a standing ovation to Ray Rice during his first practice back after he Pacquiao’d his wife"

**Baltimore35** · 08-16-2018, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by Shrubbs

I just got done reading the why your team sucks article, and to me it was so lazy he's so clearly grasping at straws. The Ray Lewis is a murder thing is so overdone at this point, like you really couldn't think of anything better at all? And saying Ravens fans are racist because several fans got upset about the anthem? Try every single fanbase. Pockets of every fanbase in the NFL are all up in arms about this... I don't know why the Ravens are special. Sure, we didn't sign Kaepernick, but neither did 31 other teams? The comments about Harbaugh made no sense to me, he wasn't trying to blame the players, he was saying it's hard for players to unlearn things that they've been taught since they started playing the game. I just found the comments so lazy and overdone. I don't know... And I feel like it's not just because it's the Ravens. If they had come out and said "oh Big Ben's a rapist lol" I would think that was just as lazy.

Not even going to read it. This is all I needed to read to know what it said.

**Ravenswintitle** · 08-16-2018, 06:41 PM

I thought the Ray thing kind of ruined it but eh, whatever. Some of it was funny, but it was a little lazy

**OhThePossibilities** · 08-16-2018, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by Bhcforlife

I read this earlier and laughed my ass off. The line about them starting a piece of dried out melba toast under center got me good. As did the line about the team being for racist suburban dads.

Those were the two that made me LOL.

**balbomb** · 08-16-2018, 07:49 PM

I gave up deadspin years ago due to the communist slant of the website, but still always love this column. My favorite quotes:

"Despite never finishing his senior year at Kenwood High, Donnie in Dundalk all of a sudden has a law degree from CCBC Essex and uses it to defend Ray Lewis whenever his “legal troubles” are brought up."

"Say what you want about this town, but the murder rate is extremely high. They’ll never take that away from us."

And of course any mention of purple camo. I have a guy that sits close to me that has worn those things for 15 years, both in 95 degree weather and 5 degree weather.

**Desert Raven** · 08-16-2018, 10:09 PM

Nice a couple of you at least saw the humor. I loved this part:

34 minutes of incoherent babbling that should have earned Lewis a one-way ticket to the loony bin. Here is a man who believes that doing the Chicken Dance makes him a vessel for God himself.