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  1. #1

    Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)



    DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this post are for entertainment purposes only and in no way reflect the beliefs of the management or administration of this delightful website. Any similarities to persons alive, dead, or Lee Evans is purely coincidental. So love it or hate it, it's time for this week's adventure known simply as- Heroes & Goats... Proudly brought to you by the number 55. Also, given the resounding nature of the Ravens' slaughter of the hapless Raiduhs, there are NO GOATS this week.



    HEROES:

    1) JOE FLACCO- I would literally give my left testicle to see you play like this the rest of your career! Dude, you were so deeply immersed in your "Joe Cool" persona I could damn near see icicles forming on your freakin facemask!..In the words of T.O.: "THAT'S MY QUARTERBACK MAN!!"

    2) TORREY SMITH/JACOBY JONES- Sticky fingers, blazing speed, great dance moves and a nose for the endzone... What's not to love? I'm in my living room cabbage-patching like a sumbitch over the fireworks display you two put on this week!

    3) PAUL KRUGER- The most complete game of your career was EPIC, not only because you were everywhere at once, but because you STILL haven't reached your ceiling as a defender. BTW, you're so bad-ass that DEATH once admitted to having a near-PAUL KRUGER-experience.

    4) DENNIS PITTA/ED DICKSON- Best all around performance for our TEs in a good long time. Dennis "The Minotaur" Pitta showed why he's Sizzle and Joe's favorite target, while Dickson rebounded from the doldrums of recent weeks. Made me happier than Jerry Sandusky at a Chuck E. Cheese in the Phillipines... (Yes, I went there.)

    5) RAVENS SPECIAL TEAMS- Now THIS is the way a team coached by a former ST coach is capable of playing! Keep making a difference, especially on the SCOREBOARD, men...


    MORE HEROES:

    6) RAY RICE- Three things that make me smile: Cold beer with charred meat, that picture of Baltimore Greg with green teeth and Ray Rice running into the endzone each week.

    7) TERRELL SUGGS/DEANGELO TYSON/COURTNEY UPSHAW- Y'all batted down so many passes that if football doesn't work out, you dudes definitely have a future on the professional volleyball circuit! Glad to see the Texans game taught us SOMETHING!


    8) BERNARD POLLARD/CARY WILLIAMS/COREY GRAHAM/CHYKIE BROWN- I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by the overall solid job you guys did in coverage, especially on deep balls. Even my main man Cary Williams emerged from this game with barely a skid mark in his undies!

    9) RAVENS FAN- Not sure those of you who were at the game or watching at home saw this dude with the BALTIMORE FUCKIN' MARYLAND tee-shirt on the left, but CBS cameras sure did going into the half!! Take THAT, FCC!!


    10) MIKE BRISIEL- Bro, you committed so many penalties for the Raiduhs, that even Michael Oher came over to you at halftime and gave you a hug!! Thanks man!!




  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Stuttgart, Germany
    Posts
    7,394

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    Awesome as always!!!
    "I got this." - Justin Tucker




  3. #3

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    I saw #9, and my buddy and I looked at each other and were like, did you just see what I saw?




  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    "Merry old England"
    Posts
    9,232
    Blog Entries
    4

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    I love our fans, most underrated fan base in the league by far.




  5. #5

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    One of your best, by far, my firend! No Goats this week - team was certainly 'together'! P.S. Belated Happy Veterans Day to you, and all of us fellow veterans out there! Btw, if you're ever near parking lot A-Annex before the game, we got the best South Philly Cheese steaks anywhere in the world - that's right, the best anywhere.
    "Grab those pusillanimous sons-a-bitches by the nose and kick 'em in the balls.." General George S. Patton




  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    369

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    Great post, great job. From one vet to another.




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Ball So Hard Universary (BSHU)
    Posts
    1,768
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    Glorious..Victorious... pore another shot for the four of us... no fear & pass another beer to the rear of the squad!!!

    I was training on Vets day so here we go fellas..




  8. #8

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    As a vet of God's arm -- the Artillery -- I am shocked and disappointed that this is the SECOND thread I've read that gives Cam a pass! It is that %ASJ^%$!@*()! fault that we were held under 77 points. He must go!




  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Frederick, MD
    Posts
    27,226
    Blog Entries
    3

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer.

    -Arnold Schwarzenegger


    My RSR Blog:
    http://russellstreetreport.com/author/paullukoskie/

    Check out Fatherhood Rules - a blog site dedicated to sports, food, music, movies, and politics.
    http://fatherhoodrules.com




  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Houston, TX Y'all
    Posts
    22,832

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    This may just be the perfect thread in the history of the interwebs.
    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to literary devices not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.




  11. #11

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52 View Post

    2) TORREY SMITH/JACOBY JONES- Sticky fingers, blazing speed, great dance moves and a nose for the endzone... What's not to love? I'm in my living room cabbage-patching like a sumbitch over the fireworks display you two put on this week!




  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Houston, TX Y'all
    Posts
    22,832

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Double-Nickel Edition)

    I'm slacking so let me be the first to publicly say on these boards ....

    Happy (belated) birthday, devil dog!
    WARNING: This post may contain material offensive to those who lack wit, humor, common sense and/or supporting factual or anecdotal evidence. All statements and assertions contained herein may be subject to literary devices not limited to: irony, metaphor, allusion and dripping sarcasm.




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