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  1. #1
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    In Defense of Vick



    Nah, just kidding the guy is a scumbag. But here is a funny satirical artical to brighten your friday.

    Cats Gather Outside Georgia Dome To Show Support For Michael Vick

    ATLANTA--Around 200 cats gathered outside the Georgia Dome on Saturday to voice their support for Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, who is facing jail time for the killing and maiming of dozens of dogs as part of an illegal dog fighting ring. The cats stood for hours in the sweltering heat carrying signs that read “Free Mike Vick,” “Vick is a hero,” and “The bastards had it coming.”

    The protest illustrated the sharp divide between dog lovers and cats when it comes to dog fighting in this country.

    “This is a grave injustice,” said 7-year-old Minnie. “Michael Vick is a hero in the cat community. By killing all those bloodthirsty, insane animals, he has saved the lives of hundreds of cats. Do you know what pit bulls do when they come across a stray cat? They eat them. Of course, nobody thinks about that. They just think about how cute and lovable they are. Well they're not so cute and lovable when they're shitting out your remains on the front lawn.”

    Another cat, a 10-year-old American Shorthair named Butterscotch, blasted PETA and other animal right’s groups for their hypocrisy on the matter.

    “PETA claims to be animal rights advocates, but they’re very selective about which animals they are protecting,” said Butterscotch. “Fact: dogs remain the biggest killers of cats in the world. Fact: dogs consider cats meals. Now, am I asking humans to go around killing dogs? No, I’m simply asking them to be a little more open-minded. Michael Vick is not a monster. He is the real victim in all this. Him and Bobby Petrino. I bet that poor bastard never thought his dream job would be ruined by a bunch of dead dogs.”

    When the subject of dog fighting came up, many of the protesters pointed to the fact that pit bulls love to fight and are utterly worthless except as violent gladiators. They also noted that cats, unlike dogs, could not be bred to fight because they are naturally peaceful, Zen-like creatures.

    “Um…let me get this straight. Vick is being punished for making pit bulls fight each other?” asked Raggles, 8. “What exactly would those pit bulls do if they weren’t fighting each other? Go to college? Join the Peace Corps? Pit bulls fight. That’s just what they do. Cats, on the other hand, rarely fight, and when we do it’s for legitimate reasons, not just for bloodlust. But hey, who cares about cats, right? We won’t fetch your slippers, so we’re worthless.”

    To many, it came as a surprise that Vick still had supporters after accepting a plea deal and admitting to the killing of dogs. However, Falcons owner Arthur Blank said he understood where the cats were coming from and admitted to having mixed emotions himself.

    “It is a very complicated matter and I myself have mixed emotions,” Blank told the Atlanta Journal Constitution. “Try as I may, I can’t look at Michael as a hardened criminal or murderer. He’s just a young guy who made a terrible mistake and did something really deplorable. As for the cats, of course they are going to have a different perspective on this than everyone else. To them, dogs are like terrorists and Mike Vick is like the U.S. government, only way, way more successful.”

    As for PETA, the group maintains its staunch anti-Mike Vick stance despite the cats’ protests, and believes the cats need a “reality check” if they think Vick is a hero.

    “Michael Vick is a deplorable, sick human being,” said Ingrid Newkirk, director of PETA. “For these cats to stand there and say that he is a hero is pathetic. I don’t care if they don’t like dogs. Their petty prejudices are no excuse to stand behind someone who is, essentially, a murderer. Do they really think Michael was killing those dogs in order to save cats? He was killing them because he has no compassion for other living creatures. And believe me, he would have happily bred cats to fight if they weren't such pansies.”
    • Section 133 for eternity!
    • I know... The family resemblance is uncanny.
    • START WEARING PURPLE!!!!





  2. #2
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    Re: In Defense of Vick

    No offense but these stupid attempts to make this whole ordeal funny are tasteless and to me not funny at all. To me this is not a joke and furthermore it saddens me to know that these other pit bulls are going to be put down today if they haven't already done so. I'm a dog owner and this whole thing has made me sick to my stomach...nothing about it is funny.
    M&T Bank Stadium - Section 513
    Proud Season Ticket Holder since 1998




  3. #3

    Re: In Defense of Vick

    Lighten up, Bez. I also find the whole thing deplorable but nothing is above satire these days.




  4. #4
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    Re: In Defense of Vick

    Quote Originally Posted by highwater View Post
    Lighten up, Bez. I also find the whole thing deplorable but nothing is above satire these days.
    I knew people would say that..but no..I won't lighten up on this. Sorry. One of my dogs came from a rescue and seeing what they went thru was horrible...she was lucky to be alive.
    M&T Bank Stadium - Section 513
    Proud Season Ticket Holder since 1998




  5. #5
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    Re: In Defense of Vick





  6. #6
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    Re: In Defense of Vick

    Sorry you feel that way Bez. I have a dog that came from a rescue and was abused in her early years (pre rescue) and I do find it sickening. She is the sweetest thing in the world and lives to be pet, be near me, lick people, and of course eat (she is a lab after all).

    That being said, I don't think a fake article about a group of cats supporting vick really subtracts from the horror of what he did. It doesn't all the sudden make me think it's okay. I just thought it was a clever satirical article, and that writing it from a cat's point of view was funny.

    Anyway, have a nice day and I hope you find something to laugh at and brighten your Friday!
    • Section 133 for eternity!
    • I know... The family resemblance is uncanny.
    • START WEARING PURPLE!!!!





  7. #7
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    Aug 2006
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    Re: In Defense of Vick

    Quote Originally Posted by pyite32 View Post
    Sorry you feel that way Bez. I have a dog that came from a rescue and was abused in her early years (pre rescue) and I do find it sickening. She is the sweetest thing in the world and lives to be pet, be near me, lick people, and of course eat (she is a lab after all).

    That being said, I don't think a fake article about a group of cats supporting vick really subtracts from the horror of what he did. It doesn't all the sudden make me think it's okay. I just thought it was a clever satirical article, and that writing it from a cat's point of view was funny.

    Anyway, have a nice day and I hope you find something to laugh at and brighten your Friday!
    I laugh at everything..trust me..but for some reason this irks the hell out of me...dunno. I apologize for complaining about it. Now it appears Vick will not admit killing dogs as part of his plea...irking me more. I hope they take the plea away and make him go to trial.

    Sorry to vent....hell my bday is tomorrow....I'm happy about that.
    M&T Bank Stadium - Section 513
    Proud Season Ticket Holder since 1998




  8. #8

    Re: In Defense of Vick

    Happy B-day Bez!

    Another word for cats can be used to describe the scum that defend Vick.




  9. #9

    Re: In Defense of Vick

    Bez

    I hear what you are saying.

    But if you're gonna have this view of satire in the Vick case, then you gotta be against satire in general.

    Im pretty sure there is some satire that would strike you funny but might offend or piss off someone else.

    PP




  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Re: In Defense of Vick

    To paraphrase Kyle from South Park, "either all of it is ok to make fun of, or nothing is".

    Also a dog lover who thinks Vick should burn, but that article was funny.




  11. #11

    Re: In Defense of Vick

    Quote Originally Posted by Bez513
    I apologize for complaining about it. Now it appears Vick will not admit killing dogs as part of his plea...irking me more.
    No need to apologize, and I'm totally with you on the news that Vick is going to try to cop a plea without admitting that he killed dogs or gambled -- I hope the feds don't let him get away with that. It seems they have enough to convict him in a trial, so if he doesn't confess to all of it, they should pull the plea agreement off the table and make him stand trial.




  12. #12

    Re: In Defense of Vick

    I just read on ProFootballTalk.com that the statement of facts that Vick is signing on Monday does, in fact, include a confession that he gambled on dog fights and participated in the killing of dogs that didn't measure up. If this is true, and I'm sure it is because PFT has been right all along in this particular case, then the ESPN report that he wasn't going to confess to those crimes is totally wrong. ESPN has really become an embarrassment. I think some of their so-called reporters literally make stuff up to please their sources.




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