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Thread: Jesus the Republican
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08-29-2012, 02:32 PM #1
Jesus the Republican
The Rich and Therefore Blessed Young Man
1. As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to him and knelt before him, and asked, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 2. And Jesus said to him, “What have you done so far?” 3. And he said to Him, “Well I was born into a wealthy family, got into a good school in Galilee because my parents donated a few thousand talents for a building with a nice reed roof, and now I have a high-paying job in the Roman treasury managing risk.” 4. Looking at him, Jesus felt an admiration for him, and said to him, “Blessed are you! For you are not far from being independently wealthy.” And the man was happy. Then Jesus said, “But there is one thing you lack: A bigger house in a gated community in Tiberias. Buy that and you will have a treasure indeed. And make sure you get a stone countertop for the kitchen. Those are really nice.” The disciples were amazed. 5. Peter asked him, “Lord, shouldn’t he sell all his possessions and give it to the poor?” Jesus grew angry. “Get behind me, Satan! He has earned it!” Peter protested: “Lord,” he said, “Did this man not have an unjust advantage? What about those who are not born into wealthy families, or who do not have the benefit of a good education, or who, despite all their toil, live in the poorer areas of Galilee, like Nazareth, your own home town?” 6. “Well,” said Jesus, “first of all, that’s why I left Nazareth. There were too many poor people always asking me for charity. They were as numerous as the stars in the sky, and they annoyed me. Second, once people start spending again, like this rich young man, the Galilean economy will inevitably rebound, and eventually some of it will trickle down to the poor. Blessed are the patient! But giving the money away, especially if he can’t write it off, is a big fat waste.” The disciples’ amazement knew no bounds. “But Lord,” they said, “what about the passages in both the Law and the Prophets that tell us to care for widows and orphans, for the poor, for the sick, for the refugee? What about the many passages in the Scriptures about justice?” 7. “Those are just metaphors,” said Jesus. “Don’t take everything so literally.”- Section 133 for eternity!
- I know... The family resemblance is uncanny.
- START WEARING PURPLE!!!!
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Re: Jesus the Republican
:grbac:
I swear if it wasn't for stereotypes you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0812/79888.html
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/art...beral_giv.html
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Re: Jesus the Republican
NC - Remember your abortion argument he couldn't answer?
And I thought we missed Galen.
Last edited by AirFlacco; 08-29-2012 at 03:11 PM.
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Re: Jesus the Republican
And he's getting his ass kicked there too using the same polls and
threads. Someone said don't argue with an idiot-lol. He knows him from
here.
Back to this thread's title, they just said at the convention that
Biden has given less that 12/10th of 1% of his money to charity while Mitt has given over 12% of his money to charity.
The convention has had some great jokes and one lineers like
OBY increased a lot of jobs for golf caddies because he's been on
more golf vacations than any other president.
:happyanim
Back to the title of the thread, that's in retaliation to my China thread where I said they hate Mitt but love OBY because he's a commie like them.
I love living in these libbies heads. I'm living there rent free.Last edited by AirFlacco; 08-30-2012 at 02:45 PM.
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08-29-2012, 11:41 PM #6
Re: Jesus the Republican
Funny, I don't remember Jesus saying steal money from someone to make yourself feel better.
"A moron, a rapist, and a Pittsburgh Steeler walk into a bar. He sits down and says, “Hi I’m Ben may I have a drink please?”
ProFootballMock
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08-29-2012, 09:55 PM #7Regular 1st Stringer
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pathetic...and sadly disgusting.
Sent from my NookColor using Tapatalk 2
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08-30-2012, 10:45 PM #8“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”
–Eleanor Roosevelt
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Re: Jesus the Republican
So, what happened to the OP?
As usual, he can't answer the replies on his own thread.
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09-05-2012, 02:02 AM #11Regular 1st Stringer
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
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Re: Jesus the Republican
I totally did say things about Loving thy Brother, but it's not like you guys listen to that anyways =)
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09-08-2012, 05:53 PM #12
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