I ran into Billy Cundiff today. At an undisclosed location for his safety. It was really awkward so I pretended I didn't recognize him. It was in a deodorant aisle. He took the cap off of Old Spice, smelled it, his face lit up, and he said, "smell this!" He tossed it to me and I dropped it on the floor.

"Uh oh! Looks like you pulled a Lee Evans!" he said.

I was so shocked that I said nothing. Later, I overheard him on the phone. His voice wasn't loud but had a savage tone. "I'd like to make reservations for February second!" he said. He accidentally turned on speakerphone and I heard the person on the phone say "Uhh sir, you don't really need to make reservations. You can just come in when you need to eat. It isn't like it's the Superbowl or something. It is only Groundhog's day."

Billy had the most sickening look on his face when the word Superbowl was mentioned.

Billy persisted, "No! There is simply no way you can expect me to believe that! Who doesn't want to see Phil? Reservations for two!"

"Fine. What is the party name?"

Billy said, "Uhhh, Evans."

Unbelievable. I guess there is no way they could be in Punxsutawney Pennsylvania on Thursday and be in Indianapolis for the Superbowl 3 days later. I guess seeing a goddamned groundhog is more important to them than being World Champions. That town isn't worth a damned thing unless Bill Murray is there.

Well I hope you're happy Cundiff and Evans! I hope the shadow is more pleasing to you than the shadow of your corruption is to me and the rest of Ravens nation!

In their defense, the hick bands that play at Groundhogs day will probably be 15 times better than the Superbowl halftime show. Seriously. Why can't they have David Bowie? Or MGMT?