As President Barack Obama prepares to make his first address to a joint session of Congress, G.O.P. leaders revealed today that their membership has been busy rehearsing grumpy facial expressions for the televised event.

While no text of the President's address has been released to the press, Republican leaders have already promised to respond to it with the grouchiest facial expressions in history.

"I've instructed my members, when the camera cuts to you, look like someone pissed in your corn flakes," said Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY.)

To ensure that their faces look as stricken as possible, Republicans have been drawing inspiration from disparate sources, such as the look Frank Langella gave when Hugh Jackman sat on his lap and Glenn Campbell's mug shot.

For his part, President Obama hopes to make history tonight by delivering the congressional address in English for the first time in eight years.