Bogey's Boys and Bitches

**Greg's Dog** · 11-15-2006, 12:52 PM

I can hear the clamoring for this incredible high-browed piece of journalistic brilliance, so here you go. I am a little late this week, but I was early last week so what the hell. I'm a dog, I don't have a wrist to hold a watch so time means little to me.

Let's make the rounds of the AFC North starting with the team that is apparently going for perpetual bitchness. The Cincinnati Bungles were all smiles for about a half, then spent the third quarter and much of the fourth with their assholes puckering so hard Richard Simmons wouldn't be able to penetrate that thing. Then they finished the choke off in fine fashion and completely collapsed to the Chargers. So let's call it as it is, the Bungles are Bitch from top to bottom, though I do like Marvin Lewis. Sorry Marvin, but I have to call it as it is, BITCH! Ladanian Tomlinson crushed two AFC North opponents in 2 weeks after running on the Browns and then the Bengals, he might be the best player in the league and a perpetual BOY. That Rivers guy is coming on strong and is showing that Drew Brees is replaceable, good job and a definite BOY!

The Stealers manned up and beat a good Saints team, so there must be a BOY or two on there but I can bring myself to call it. Joey Porter is still a BITCH and always will be. Bill Cowher's chin is a BITCH and so is he. DOUBLE BITCH!

The Clowns went into Atlanta and dropped a second straight loss on the Falcons, which might not be good for our Ravens. The Falcons are going to be desperate for a win this Sunday. The Clowns have one BOY on that team, Winslow. Hhmmm...maybe we should send out free motorcycles to the top skill players on our divisional opponents as gifts. I think Chad and Carson can use one each.

And now onto the Ravens after dispensing with the above nonsense. McNair, huge BOY after making up for a lacking running game. Great job. Mason, Heap, Clayton and Williams, ALL BOYS, hell of a job. The offensive line gets another huge tail wag and are all BOYS after the pass protection they provided. And the running holes were there but I have to say it, that BITCH Jamal is slower to the hole then a somnolent quadraplegic going uphole in deep mud. The guy was huge money at one time but now he is loose change. Carry the ball 25 times in pregame to get into your rhythm or take a backseat to Mike Anderson.

Billick is my BOY. He would be a big time BOY if he could man up and tell Jamal he is behind Musa and Anderson.

The defense are all BOYS, including Haley. After rewatching a bit of the game he recovered from a terrible start and made a lot of nice tackles at the end of the game to help stuff the Titans. Considering he was delivering coffee to the team Sunday morning when they signed him and tossed him onto the field he did a very good job. Pryce and Bannan, huge BOYS for working together for that game saving block.

McAlister better watch himself, he is another dumb penalty away from being on the wrong side of the ledger.

Off the field, these yahoos that produce, direct and call games are all BITCH. Could somebody tell them I am more interested in the penalty calls on the field than what is coming up on the next episode of CSI: Miami, or CSI: NY, or CSI:Mexico City, or CSI:Beijing, or CSI:Glen Burnie. And let me make it simple for the simpletons, get rid of most of those cameras. I don't need to watch a play from the vantage point of the blades of grass in the corner end zone. Can you give me the shot from midfield, club level and just use those other cameras for replays only on the off chance that a close up of Steve McNair...err...Vince Young's left nut will offer some valuable insight. This "Raisins" fan would appreciate it. BITCH!

As for the rest of the league, who cares. Although those Irsays and their fans are getting nice and high on that 9-0 start. This dog will enjoy the show when their inability to stop Betty White in the running game costs them in the playoffs and their Super Bowl hopes are crushed once again. That always earns a big face lick and happy dance from me!

**Sephy** · 11-15-2006, 02:55 PM

Samari Rolle is a BITCH.

**highwater** · 11-15-2006, 03:26 PM

LOL, Greg's dog is wittier now than when he was alive.

Agree about Jamal -- he can't even have a good game against the worst defense in the league.

Agree about Billick -- 3-0 since he took over the playcalling. But he needs to tell Jamal to grab some bench if Jamal can't get going. Billick has been giving him chances but he isn't getting it done.

Also agree about Pryce and Bannan -- we would be complaining about how the defense blew the game if not for that block. A genuine game saver.

And is it just me, or does the NFL announcing in general seem worse than usual this season? MNF is the worst. I can't stand it when they bring in some minor league celebrity (usually associated with ABC) in the second quarter and then proceed to completely ignore the game. :grbac:

**deuce** · 11-15-2006, 04:18 PM

lol, Jeff Gordon in the MNF booth is a BITCH!

**Greg** · 11-15-2006, 05:34 PM

Snookie, my last dog and the one infamously smarter than Bruce Cunningham does not post from the grave. This is my new dog, Bogey. He was picked for a number of reasons, one being his football acumen. The one downside is he is from West Virginia and loves their football team.

**Greg's Dog** · 11-15-2006, 05:35 PM

http://www.msnsportsnet.com/page.cfm...cat=exclusives

:hammer:

**AZRAVEN** · 11-15-2006, 06:42 PM

Hey Bogey, next home game make Greg take you to the game and when the Ravens are doing pregame warm ups go down on the field and chase Jamal's lazy ass up and down the field for ten minutes ~ maybe that will get him moving.

**highwater** · 11-15-2006, 07:41 PM

Snookie, my last dog and the one infamously smarter than Bruce Cunningham does not post from the grave. This is my new dog, Bogey.

Got it. Well, I'm impressed with Bogey's take on the issues of the day. I hope this will be a weekly feature.

Sorry if I missed this in an earlier thread, but is Bogey a puppy? Mixed breed or purebred? Where did you find this tower of NFL knowledge?

**Greg** · 11-15-2006, 07:52 PM

Bogey is all beagle. His NFL knowledge apparently is much more impressive than his hunting skills, since he was apparently abandoned in West Virginia. This often happens with dogs that can't hunt in Appalachia. I found him on a rescue site where he kept a blog with very interesting NFL thoughts. He is around 14 months old.

**camdenyard** · 11-15-2006, 11:27 PM

Greg,

Your new dog is too freaking verbose. How about just the Executive Summary next week?

**BlackSunday** · 11-16-2006, 01:52 AM

re: KW2 - is it possible to be a bitch and a boy at the same time?

BS

**FellsPointRaven** · 11-16-2006, 12:09 PM

Your new dog is too freaking verbose.

I disagree - I enjoy the meandering diatribe and generally concur with his boy/bitch analysis.

It's more interesting and accurate than Len Pasquerelli.

I heard Greg's Dog was offered a job as a full time ESPN analyst, but turned it down as he's a plummer by trade.