Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

**RAVENOUS52** · 01-26-2013, 12:55 AM

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this are for entertainment purposes only and in no way reflect the beliefs of the management or administration of this delightful website. Any similarities to persons alive, dead, or Lee Evans is purely coincidental. And speaking of Lee, with his bitch-hands removed from the equation this season, the Mighty Ravens were able to roll up their sleeves, BUCKle Up and put foot to ass, leading us nicely into this AFC Championship edition of- Heroes & Goats...

HEROES:

1) JOE FLACCO- Outplayed Brady the Lady, manhandled the Patriots defense and totally avenged the loss from last year's playoff game like a BOSS.

In fact, you slit his team's throat with such razor precision at GILLETTE Stadium that Bob Kraft may be calling you after the Super Bowl with an endorsement deal!

2) ANQUAN BOLDIN/DENNIS PITTA- Q, you said we'd win and I'll be dipped in shit if you didn't force the issue.:respect

Those Patriots DBs didn't know whether to be impressed or embarassed Sunday night!

/I've already annointed you my favorite Ravens TE ever and you're easily as tough as any we've had in Purple and Black.

Somebody should authorize Pitta to receive hazardous duty pay!

3) RAVENS DEFENSE- Giving up field goals instead of touchdowns was HUGE!

Pounding the Patriots offense for 60 minutes like Traci Lords in a 10-man gangbang was COLOSSAL!!

Snatching 3 turnovers and the hearts of Chowdaheads everywhere...PRICELESS!!!

4) RAVENS OFFENSIVE LINE- The way you dudes have been protecting him lately, Flacco has to be happier than James Harrison at a BALCO orgy!:respect

5) RAVENS FANS- There's nothing more beautiful than seeing our fanbase travel well when it counts-- In the playoffs!!

Well, maybe not better than seeing us celebrate with our AFC Champion Ravens as helpless zipperhead SpyGate fans choke wicked hawd on their Sam Adams Bawston Lawgah!!:happyanim

Next Stop: NEW ORLEANS!!

GOATS:

1) TOM BRADY- Throwing your cleated foot towards Ed Reed's groin region was a true BITCH move, bro.

Have fun at home modeling UGGS instead of backing up Peyton Manning in the Pro Bowl, PUSSY...

2) PHIL SIMMS- The more you talk

, the more I'm convinced that Jeff Hostetler would be a better option...AGAIN!:bag::grbac:

3) NFL OFFICIALS- You flag-happy sons of bitches can suck a fat baby's dick for allowing Pitta to nearly be decapitated without so much as batting an eye!!

4) CHYKIE BROWN/COREY GRAHAM- Look, I don't give a shit who's fault it was on that Welker TD... Both of you schmucks need to learn how to communicate like RAVENS!:bag:

5) ED DICKSON- You look like Tarzan

, yet play like Jane

... WTF MAN?:grbac::grbac:

**Bigfish** · 01-26-2013, 01:15 AM

Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52

Pounding the Patriots offense for 60 minutes like Traci Lords in a 10-man gangbang was COLOSSAL!!

It's all good, but that had beer coming out of my nose.

**RAVENOUS52** · 01-26-2013, 03:04 AM

Originally Posted by Bigfish

It's all good, but that had beer coming out of my nose.

Please don't waste beer, brother!

Originally Posted by Derf

This had me laughing from start to finish. Your best one yet. Hey and btw I love Sam Adams Bawston Lawgah.

Thanks Man. I drink Sam Adams occassionally. Good beer. Shitbag football fans.

Originally Posted by The Fanatic

I think you're spending a little too much time at the Israel side of your youth stomping grounds.

Oy Vey!!

Originally Posted by rlh445

'choke wicked hawd,' LOL. Oh man, that's Boston, MA alright.

Worst. Accents. EVER.

Originally Posted by alienrace

Great thread!

Thanks. Let's hope no attention whores show up to hijack it!

**Dade** · 01-26-2013, 03:15 AM

Entertaining as always Ravenous.

**RAVENOUS52** · 01-27-2013, 10:38 PM

Originally Posted by Dade

Entertaining as always Ravenous.

Thanks bro. Didn't mean to forget you. Members of your aviation-leaning brood were always good to me throughout my career. (Especially your women...

)

**Derf** · 01-26-2013, 01:16 AM

This had me laughing from start to finish. Your best one yet. Hey and btw I love Sam Adams Bawston Lawgah.

**The Fanatic** · 01-26-2013, 01:36 AM

Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52

Both of you schmucks need to learn how to communicate like RAVENS!

I think you're spending a little too much time at the Israel side of your youth stomping grounds.

**rlh445** · 01-26-2013, 01:48 AM

'choke wicked hawd,' LOL. Oh man, that's Boston, MA alright.

**alienrace** · 01-26-2013, 02:16 AM

Great thread!

**IBleedPurple2127** · 01-26-2013, 03:32 AM

Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52

5) ED DICKSON- You look like Tarzan

, yet play like Jane

... WTF MAN?:grbac::grbac:

LOL so true. I've been saying it since last year...Dickson has the worst hands I think I've ever seen in my life. Stick to blocking!

**wickedsolo** · 01-26-2013, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by IBleedPurple2127

LOL so true. I've been saying it since last year...Dickson has the worst hands I think I've ever seen in my life. Stick to blocking!

Ed Dickson =

**sailorsam** · 01-26-2013, 01:26 PM

don't knw about best evah but Pitta is a worthy successor to Sharpe and Heap.

I always hoped we'd get to the SB wi Heap and Kelly Gregg. at least Reed will make it.

our fans certainly made some noise up there! makes me wonder how the Cheatriot fan base let so many tickets get out of town.