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  1. #1

    Thumbs up Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)



    DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this are for entertainment purposes only and in no way reflect the beliefs of the management or administration of this delightful website. Any similarities to persons alive, dead, or Lee Evans is purely coincidental. And speaking of Lee, with his bitch-hands removed from the equation this season, the Mighty Ravens were able to roll up their sleeves, BUCKle Up and put foot to ass, leading us nicely into this AFC Championship edition of- Heroes & Goats...


    HEROES:

    1) JOE FLACCO- Outplayed Brady the Lady, manhandled the Patriots defense and totally avenged the loss from last year's playoff game like a BOSS. In fact, you slit his team's throat with such razor precision at GILLETTE Stadium that Bob Kraft may be calling you after the Super Bowl with an endorsement deal!

    2) ANQUAN BOLDIN/DENNIS PITTA- Q, you said we'd win and I'll be dipped in shit if you didn't force the issue. Those Patriots DBs didn't know whether to be impressed or embarassed Sunday night!/I've already annointed you my favorite Ravens TE ever and you're easily as tough as any we've had in Purple and Black. Somebody should authorize Pitta to receive hazardous duty pay!

    3) RAVENS DEFENSE- Giving up field goals instead of touchdowns was HUGE! Pounding the Patriots offense for 60 minutes like Traci Lords in a 10-man gangbang was COLOSSAL!! Snatching 3 turnovers and the hearts of Chowdaheads everywhere...PRICELESS!!!

    4) RAVENS OFFENSIVE LINE- The way you dudes have been protecting him lately, Flacco has to be happier than James Harrison at a BALCO orgy!

    5) RAVENS FANS- There's nothing more beautiful than seeing our fanbase travel well when it counts-- In the playoffs!! Well, maybe not better than seeing us celebrate with our AFC Champion Ravens as helpless zipperhead SpyGate fans choke wicked hawd on their Sam Adams Bawston Lawgah!! Next Stop: NEW ORLEANS!!


    GOATS:

    1) TOM BRADY- Throwing your cleated foot towards Ed Reed's groin region was a true BITCH move, bro. Have fun at home modeling UGGS instead of backing up Peyton Manning in the Pro Bowl, PUSSY...

    2) PHIL SIMMS- The more you talk, the more I'm convinced that Jeff Hostetler would be a better option...AGAIN!

    3) NFL OFFICIALS- You flag-happy sons of bitches can suck a fat baby's dick for allowing Pitta to nearly be decapitated without so much as batting an eye!!

    4) CHYKIE BROWN/COREY GRAHAM- Look, I don't give a shit who's fault it was on that Welker TD... Both of you schmucks need to learn how to communicate like RAVENS!

    5) ED DICKSON- You look like Tarzan, yet play like Jane... WTF MAN?




  2. #2

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52 View Post
    Pounding the Patriots offense for 60 minutes like Traci Lords in a 10-man gangbang was COLOSSAL!!
    It's all good, but that had beer coming out of my nose.




  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    382

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    This had me laughing from start to finish. Your best one yet. Hey and btw I love Sam Adams Bawston Lawgah.




  4. Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52 View Post
    Both of you schmucks need to learn how to communicate like RAVENS!
    I think you're spending a little too much time at the Israel side of your youth stomping grounds.
    Will Die A Ravens Fan!!




  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Baltimore
    Posts
    385

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    'choke wicked hawd,' LOL. Oh man, that's Boston, MA alright.




  6. #6

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Great thread!




  7. #7

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bigfish View Post
    It's all good, but that had beer coming out of my nose.
    Please don't waste beer, brother!

    Quote Originally Posted by Derf
    This had me laughing from start to finish. Your best one yet. Hey and btw I love Sam Adams Bawston Lawgah.
    Thanks Man. I drink Sam Adams occassionally. Good beer. Shitbag football fans.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fanatic
    I think you're spending a little too much time at the Israel side of your youth stomping grounds.
    Oy Vey!!

    Quote Originally Posted by rlh445
    'choke wicked hawd,' LOL. Oh man, that's Boston, MA alright.
    Worst. Accents. EVER.

    Quote Originally Posted by alienrace
    Great thread!
    Thanks. Let's hope no attention whores show up to hijack it!

    UNLEASH THE BEASTS!!!!




  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Stuttgart, Germany
    Posts
    7,442

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Entertaining as always Ravenous.
    "I got this." - Justin Tucker




  9. #9

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52 View Post
    5) ED DICKSON- You look like Tarzan, yet play like Jane... WTF MAN?
    LOL so true. I've been saying it since last year...Dickson has the worst hands I think I've ever seen in my life. Stick to blocking!




  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Pikesville
    Posts
    4,171
    I'm very offended by this thread.







    Nah... Just kidding. This win is so sweet even the crustiest fucking leatherneck this side of R Lee Ermey had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for goats. What's to complain about? SUPER BOWL BABY!
    My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging. -Hank Aaron




  11. #11

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Thanks, R52.....always a treat! Maybe after leaving the service you and Dennis Miller can form a comedic tag team, you're that good.
    "Grab those pusillanimous sons-a-bitches by the nose and kick 'em in the balls.." General George S. Patton




  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Frederick, MD
    Posts
    27,236
    Blog Entries
    3

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Lamar Hunt Trophy Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by IBleedPurple2127 View Post
    LOL so true. I've been saying it since last year...Dickson has the worst hands I think I've ever seen in my life. Stick to blocking!
    Ed Dickson =
    Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer.

    -Arnold Schwarzenegger


    My RSR Blog:
    http://russellstreetreport.com/author/paullukoskie/

    Check out Fatherhood Rules - a blog site dedicated to sports, food, music, movies, and politics.
    http://fatherhoodrules.com




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