Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 12 of 33

Hybrid View

  1. #1

    Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)



    DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this post are for entertainment purposes only and in no way reflect the beliefs of the management or administration of this delightful website. Any similarities to persons alive, dead, or Lee Evans is purely coincidental. So without further ado, shut your mouth, know your role, sit your ass down and settle in for this Divisional Round edition of- Heroes & Goats...



    HEROES:

    1) TORREY SMITH/JACOBY JONES- Only Jacques Cousteau and John Holmes have had more success going DEEP than you two did Saturday. The poor Broncos secondary should've been issued rape whistles before the game.

    2) COREY GRAHAM- Special teams player MY ASS! You deserve theme music after your heroic performance...Rock on, bro!

    2A) JUSTIN TUCKER- Blessed with the face of a homeless pothead and the foot/heart of a cold-blooded assassin. TUCK YEAH!!

    3) JOE FLACCO- Droppin' F-Bombs in the high altitude that ironically had Denver fans gasping for air proved that JOE. KNOWS. FOOTBALL. Didn't Manning know that freezing temperatures ain't nothing to a dude colder than Eskimo Pussy?

    3A) OFFENSIVE LINE- None of the offense's production would have been possible without our new & improved, realigned offensive line... Moving Oher to where he can suck the least was a stroke of genius and you men held an absolute BLOCK PARTY in Colorado...Without the legalized weed, of course.

    4) TERRELL SUGGS/PAUL KRUGER/PERNELL MCPHEE- The way you dudes smacked Manning around back there in the second half, he had to be thinking Omar from The Wire was coming for his ass next!!

    5) RAY RICE- A steady diet of Rice was just what the doctor ordered for keeping Denver off balance. No retreat, No surrender, No fumbles, NO PROBLEMS!




    GOATS:

    1) BRENDON AYANBADEJO- For the record, it's not a GOOD thing when your keyboard speaks louder than your play on the field, Twidiot...

    2) SPECIAL TEAMS COVERAGE- WTF Man?? I've seen Brazilian thongs that cover better than you dudes did in Denver!! FIX IT!!

    3) MICHAEL OHER- Even though it's being masked somewhat, you still suck donkey balls as a starting tackle on an NFL playoff contender... Not to beat a dead horse or anything.

    4) ED REED- Not used to your game being so quiet in the postseason. At least Knowshon Moreno didn't hurdle you this time, though.

    5) DAN DIERDORF- You and the mayor of Boston seem to share a similar pool of football knowledge.
    Last edited by RAVENOUS52; 01-20-2013 at 04:17 AM.




  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    "Merry old England"
    Posts
    9,237
    Blog Entries
    4

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    I would add Ellerbe and Ray to the heroes list, and take Oher out, he had a fantastic game against Von Miller, and completely stone walled him at the best of times.
    Last edited by leachisabeast; 01-20-2013 at 04:57 AM.




  3. #3

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    Yeah, Ray and Ellerbe deserve props but fuck it, I'm tired.

    Oher had his moments, but he still takes too many plays off for me.

    UNLEASH THE BEASTS!!!!




  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Pikesville
    Posts
    4,183
    Which game did you watch? Oher had a fantastic game against a great pass rusher. As for the idea that he takes plays off... SMH. Effort 110% of the time is the one thing he does as well as any lineman in the league.

    Some fans see what they expect even when reality doesn't agree I guess.
    My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging. -Hank Aaron




  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Ocean City, MD
    Posts
    201
    Ed Reed is quiet because he is staying deep and keeping it all underneath. His staying in position is helping us win.
    Facebook -> Craig.Ciurca
    Twitter -> @papa_ciurca
    Instagram -> @papa_ciurca




  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Baltimore
    Posts
    571

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    I'm usually a fan of these and you're almost always spot on..but this one not so much. Oher doesn't take plays off..the only great thing about him is his tireless effort, even if it sometimes doesn't translate into his play. Reed was 'quiet' because he was quietly taking away the deep ball....ALL GAME. Manning himself attributes the lack of deep balls to Ed and Pollard, as far as I'm concerned he's a hero too. You sure have Dierdorf pegged though!




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Balmer Merlin Hon
    Posts
    3,338
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by rlh445 View Post
    I'm usually a fan of these and you're almost always spot on..but this one not so much.
    Concur. OP's prose walks the tightrope between mildly-offensive-but-very-funny & very-offensive-if-mildly-humorous & this time he falls off on the latter side. Specifically, "rape whistles" are not funny under any circumstances; "homeless pothead" to describe the Dapper Young Mister Tucker is tacky as well as inaccurate; & the criticisms leveled at the RT-du-jour & HOF FS are, as Spammy Bot & rlh445 have noted, pure horse manOher.




  8. #8

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    Glad to hear your opinions, even if a bit whiny. Unlike some I'm not afraid of criticism or having an unpopular opinion. Read it and move on, I say!

    UNLEASH THE BEASTS!!!!




  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,959
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    You aren't going to get away with suggesting Justin Tucker's face is anything short of beautiful and magnificent.




  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Balmer Merlin Hon
    Posts
    3,338
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by RAVENOUS52 View Post
    Glad to hear your opinions, even if a bit whiny.
    I don't give a flying fuck whether you think it's "whiny", but FYI:

    Rape is never an appropriate subject for humor. Period.


    Which you would understand if you'd ever been close to someone who'd been raped. (My guess is that if you're over 16 you have been--it's a lot more common than most guys realize--but you don't know it because the victim(s) never confided in you. And maybe that's because they weren't comfortable doing so. Considering your willingness to make a joke out of it...)

    How about you read (and comprehend ) & move on, OK?




  11. #11

    Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by rlh445 View Post
    I'm usually a fan of these and you're almost always spot on..but this one not so much. Oher doesn't take plays off..the only great thing about him is his tireless effort, even if it sometimes doesn't translate into his play. Reed was 'quiet' because he was quietly taking away the deep ball....ALL GAME. Manning himself attributes the lack of deep balls to Ed and Pollard, as far as I'm concerned he's a hero too. You sure have Dierdorf pegged though!

    Good points; however, there's no way the front office will pay $7 million "because he was quietly taking away the deep ball." He gets paid for knocking down passes and making picks. Those attributes are long gone. I love Ed Reed's contributions for the past decade, but he's headed towards becoming over-the-hill.

    =============================================================================================


    Quote Originally Posted by lobachevsky View Post
    Concur. OP's prose walks the tightrope between mildly-offensive-but-very-funny & very-offensive-if-mildly-humorous & this time he falls off on the latter side. Specifically, "rape whistles" are not funny under any circumstances; "homeless pothead" to describe the Dapper Young Mister Tucker is tacky as well as inaccurate; & the criticisms leveled at the RT-du-jour & HOF FS are, as Spammy Bot & rlh445 have noted, pure horse manOher.
    Lighten up Francis! No one else who routinely participates here provides such a great blend of humor and football knowledge. I particularly liked the "homeless pothead" and "Dapper Young Mister Tucker" descriptions.

    Ravenous 52 has been a major contributor to this message board and its predecessors for 13+ years. You are a newbie ... so: back off!
    In a 2003 BBC poll that asked Brits to name the "Greatest American Ever", Mr. T came in fourth, behind ML King (3rd), Abe Lincoln (2nd) and Homer Simpson (1st).




  12. Re: Heroes & Goats (Mile High Miracle Divisional Round Edition)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mista T View Post
    Good points; however, there's no way the front office will pay $7 million "because he was quietly taking away the deep ball." He gets paid for knocking down passes and making picks. Those attributes are long gone. I love Ed Reed's contributions for the past decade, but he's headed towards becoming over-the-hill.
    I dunno T.

    While I agree about the front office not going to fork over those type of $$ to retain Reed and him being at the twilight of his career, I disagree with Reeds contributions as of late.

    While certainly Reeds interceptions are exciting and huge plays (many game changing), he was where he was supposed to be and not gambling potentially giving up the big play.

    You hear it time and time again from defensive coordinators where they're constantly harping to their players to "Do your job".

    As somebody else stated, him staying home forces QBs to think twice about throwing deep against one on one matchups.

    Denver tried that one on one stuff against Torrey Smith last week with Champ Bailey and we saw how that worked out for him.

    Eds ability to make the big play scares the crap out of the opposition more often then not, but they also know he gambles sometimes and presents big opportunitys for them if he guesses wrong.

    Regarding R52s edition of Heroes & Goats....

    I tend to agree with others about Oher.

    Both him & Mckinnies play last week was borderline stellar in pretty much containing what was considered one of the best pass rushing duos (if not the best) in the league this year.

    If not for their play, I doubt Flacco completes those bombs of beauty, and I doubt we win that game.

    As far as offensiveness of his post...

    Gimme a break

    That's some funny shit right there.

    Some people need to lighten up some here
    Will Die A Ravens Fan!!




Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Russell Street Report Website Design by D3Corp Ocean City Maryland